Reviews · self help

Once upon a time Bitches by Branden Lanette

5 hoots

Raw. Honest. Intense. This is the kind of book you need to read when you want to make changes but need a reality check.

Where do I even begin? This book was originally selected to be part of my New Year’s Resolution series and I did not expect to have it reasonated with me this much. Branden shares with her readers pieces of her life…the good, the bad, and the ugly, and let me tell you, I wish I knew her in real life!

Out of the other books in the New Year’s resolution series this one stood out the most to me. First off, the fact it had a few warnings in the front was very different and made me chuckle. It was a great way to let you know that there was going to be more cursing and that the author was going to be real. Not that other authors aren’t, but some self help writers try to act like they are well put together and perfect….Branden on the other hand will gladly let you know she just stepped in pee. I kid you not, this was in the book and I could not help but laugh. Not once in this book did I feel like it was written by someone who was better than me, in fact it felt like I was just sitting down with a friend getting some no nonsense advice.

Okay, time to talk about the book itself… The book starts off with an Intro about Braden and her life, which I very much identified with. She did not have the perfect upbringing nor did she have anything handed to her….in fact she admitted to making a lot of mistakes and even went into her first marriage. Hint: he was NOT a prince. Then it went into her 7 Maxim’s which were more like truth bombs. The first of these was about realizing that no one was going to save you, you have to do it yourself. With each Maxim she goes into what it means and gave examples of her own life. By the end of the book you have 7 wonderful pieces of advice that you can use to help you start your journey. Basically you don’t have to accept what you have now Cinderella, your fairy godmother Branden is giving you the keys to a pumpkin sportscar…are you going to stay where you are or find your own happy ending. Yes, maybe the imagery isn’t accurate to the original story but you get what I mean.

Overall, I loved this book and wish I had it years ago when I was trapped by a troll in a tower like Rapunzel. It was a very short read but I found myself laughing at times and even agreeing with a lot that was said. It kind of just echoed some of my own values. Do I think that everyone who reads the book will magically change their life? No, the book isn’t a magic wand, but do I believe that this book might be exactly what someone has been waiting for. I truly think that someone might see themselves in some of Branden’s experiences and they might actually say “holy hell she is right! I need to stop this insanity and save myself”. So do I recommend this book? Yes I do. It will be a quick read and most of all it might give you the kick in the pants you might be looking for.